I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
I don't deserve a penis
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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