he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
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