i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Randomize
