I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
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