he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
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