That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
Randomize
