Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
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