So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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