Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
Randomize
