just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
Randomize
