I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Randomize
