I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
Randomize
