dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
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