I wanna bring you to show and tell
I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
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