every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
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