I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
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