Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
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