He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
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