my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
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