do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
Randomize
