You're a womanizer and a bitch.
I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
