I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
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