Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Randomize
