Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
Randomize
