So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize
