My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
420 ftw
Just mADE A PArabola og urine
M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Randomize
