The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
I came so hard my ears popped.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
I'm really sorry I called you a "smug, arrogant, boyfriend-fucking piece of defecation". I was super drunk.
I was going to be mad, but then I remembered you don't use autocorrect and spelled everything correctly and I was kinda impressed.
Randomize
