wanna go halves on a baby?
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
Randomize
