i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
