3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
