You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
