The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
I intend to get homeless drunk
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
Randomize
