please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
Randomize
