That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
