How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
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