Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
Whoa!!! Accidentally took a dump in chick's bathroom at Red Robin. 1 hr for coast to be clear. Women's farts sound like geese taking last breath. Liars.
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
Randomize
