Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
It was like getting head from an anaconda
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Randomize
