I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
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