He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
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