She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
Randomize
