one two three fourrrrnication!
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Randomize
