My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
Randomize
