Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
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