I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
Randomize
