I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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