Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
Randomize
