you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
