I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
Randomize
