I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
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