She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
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